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I Hate Hell in a Cell!

by Victor Parenza (@ParenzaBooks)

Yes I do indeed hate “the devil’s favorite playground,” or whatever the hell they are calling it these days. The reason?  I’m sure it’s something you probably agree with, and that is the fact they have to have the event regardless of whether it is needed or not.

Now you can make the same argument for TLC, Elimination Chamber, etc. as well. But, those matches never had the aura of the Cell.  Which is why it is hard to stomach the force-fed cell matches that we have been getting for the last half decade.

Let’s look at Roman Reigns challenging Rusev to a Cell match from last week’s Raw:

I’m the Big Dog, so I need to face that Russian brute in a kennel. Uh I mean the cage.  No wait!  I mean Hell in a Cell!  Lana you can be in there too!  Because clearly you’re the one with the balls, and what beautiful Russian balls they are!

I’m not 100% sure, but I think those were his exact words. My point is, the Hell in a Cell matches were the culmination of a bitter blood feud.  Now there is no blood (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) and crappy feuds.  I don’t know about you, but when Reigns pushed Lana in the wedding cake, my first thoughts weren’t, this will end up in a Cell match for sure!

Yes I realize it’s easy to pick on those two shmucks, but a guaranteed 2 or more Cell matches in one show every single year is simply overkill. The need for constant gimmick matches is over.  This isn’t 2010.  Although week to week shows may be shaky, there has been constantly good wrestling matches in WWE all year long.  Good matches without stupid stipulations or gimmicks.  I don’t know about you, but I would rather watch Zayn vs. Nakamura over the best Cell match any day.  (Sorry Mick, Shawn, and Taker.)      

Thanks for reading. Rant over.

About Dustin Smothers (187 Articles)
Dad. Nerd. Slammy Winner. #GoodBrother. Glorious Guy. Sith. Co-Owner/Creator/Producer/Host of the #ProWrestlingIowa Network of Podcasts.

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