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Enough Ellsworth!

by Victor Parenza (@ParenzaBooks)

The great Owen Hart used to say, “Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.” Change is sorely needed in regards to James Ellsworth.  What started out as a cute story, has been completely run into the ground by the head honchos at WWE.  And I’m sick of it.

When Ellsworth showed up to be the first sacrificial lamb for Braun Strowman I reacted the same way as everyone else did, “what the hell is the matter with that guy’s face? Where is his chin?”  I’m not joking, I thought he may be “special.”  You know, like Eugene-type special.  Only for real.  He was so scrawny, pale, and dimply he didn’t seem like he could be a real job guy.  He seemed too pathetic even to be a jobber!  I didn’t even know that was possible.

Obviously as the weeks wore on, his legend grew. He was soon on Smackdown facing AJ Styles.  What the fuck?  Not only that, but after the last edition of Smackdown he has beaten him three straight times with the help of the also increasingly annoying Dean Ambrose, only to lead him to a future title shot.

Now I am happy for the man James Ellsworth. This one in a billion chance that he caught on like wildfire is a wonderful thing for him, but aren’t we overdoing here a tad WWE?  Shouldn’t he be facing Jack Swagger for the right to be called a “Real American” or something?  I’m not complaining that AJ’s losses are some kind of punishment, or that they’re trying to ruin him.  I can look long-term and know that this (barring him dropping the title to Ellsworth) little program will do nothing to tarnish AJ’s legacy in any way.  I just can’t understand why Vince insists on him being at the top of the card, when Daniel Bryan languished in mediocrity for so long before his hand was forced?

What this truly reminds me of is the aforementioned Eugene. He debuted as an after-thought in the spring of 2004, only to be catapulted to main event status by summer.  I knew they jumped the shark the moment Eugene was left in charge of Raw for one week.  I knew this was too much, and so did everyone else because eventually they turned on Eugene.  And I’m quite confident it is going to happen to Ellsworth after he wins the Royal Rumble or something crazy like that.  (Can you imagine Ellsworth slipping on a banana peel and eliminating Brock and Goldberg who were tussling on the ropes?)

The major difference between Eugene and Ellsworth is that Eugene, aka Nick Dinsmore, could actually wrestle. I’m not sure Ellsworth could have an entertaining 10 minute match with no bells and whistles involved.  Ellsworth doesn’t look like he could harm a fly, which I get is part of the appeal, but how does that logically translate into “main event guy?”  More like “205 Live guy!”  Which probably wouldn’t work either because those guys would run laps around him.

I realize that Vince is eventually going to get tired of his new chinless toy, and he’ll be relegated to wrestling on Superstars/Main Event/whatever the B show is these days, and being in backstage skits with R-Truth and The Ascension. Then he’ll get released because creative will have nothing for him.  Then people will feel bad for the little fella.  I honestly think that could be avoided, or at least postponed by not shoving him down our throats so much (seems to be trend with them).  But, maybe I’m in the minority.  Or, since we know history likes to repeat itself, I’m actually like the Joker and just ahead of the curve.

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About Dustin Smothers (188 Articles)
Dad. Nerd. Slammy Winner. #GoodBrother. Glorious Guy. Sith. Co-Owner/Creator/Producer/Host of the #ProWrestlingIowa Network of Podcasts.

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